Monday, April 21, 2008
posted at 3:47 PM
(my eyes are clouded by the tears streaming down my face.)school was alright today.
Just that I aren't feeling well the very first moment when I woke up.
And I was so dizzy after I went for a shower before school.
And I saw green today. Distractions. Feel like complaining to the principal.
Anyway,THANKS darlings, for being there for me.
I'm so sorry that I broke down again today.
GP's debate was slag. Mr.SAS wasn't there anyway.It was like,phew.
Maths was alright. Of course, Ms.Haridas wasn't there.
And Fabian and Siong Poo ignored us.How can.
Suddenly,I feel so depressed,so down.
I feel like doing the 'joke' that Rachel mentioned in today's debate.
I know it's silly, but I feel so emotionless. Nothingness within me.
Smiling and taking nothing happened are my facade.
I can't take it,I feel like screaming out loud.
So wished that I could buried myself into the flow of saddistic music.
I don't feel like belonging in this world. I feel a sense of Futility.
Smiling and laughing like nobody's business aren't going to heal the deep bleeding furiously scar.
Do you guys understand the importance of friendship?
Let me tell you,I treasure the friendships we shared. I really do. I don't know what will happen to me without you guys there. You all my pillars of life.
Frankly, our family is dispersing right now. Conflicts happened everywhere.
I can't stop what is happening.
I feel so..useless.
Do you guys know why I broke down?
Because our huge clique is splitting up. You guys have not realise it yet.
Take a moment to think: We aren't eating altogether, missing the times when we laughed and crack silly jokes. I'm missing those days. I missed the funs. I missed the closeness.
You guys called my da jie. And by just this 'title', it gives me the sense of responsibility.
I'm responsible for rounding you sheeps and be together.
I crumble today because I don't think I can sustained the role anymore.
Because I failed to bring united-ness among us.
And I am so pissed with one senseless,naive idiot.
Everyone had their patience. You have your patience,I have my patience too.
What do you think?
Turning the tables right? I tell you, I will turn the double amount of tables you turned at ME.
You think I'm SO scared of you?try ME.
Anything unhappy,chong ze wo lai, there's no need to complain and whine behind our back.
(I will removed this part soon. After everything is settled.)
